Too much

Hey, on my way to work, this week is kind of tough for me emotionally, not really feeling like myself. This morning was really tough for me to get up, I woke up about 30min before the alarm and I woke up baby and told him I wanted to talk. Always when being next to him I feel safe. He said that I seemed to be very dull this morning and I nodded. There are so many things going on in me emotionally. I don't always know how express my feelings towards other people so they will understand me. Those who know me, also know I carry a lot of baggage but most of the time I try not to let it effect my present. But this week defently feels like it is. Plus I am soul searching when it comes to the future, do I want to be here in Sweden forever? Am I still interested in meeting my father after being let down? My upcoming dr's appointment that could mean a whole lot for my future And other stuff that are too personal to put down.
I am trying to be positive and look forward to the positive things going on this week/weekend. Tomorrow I get to see my cousins son Erik and on Saturday is Halloween and after my last years miss, it would be fun to dress up and have fun.
I'm sorry if I made you sad by reading this but this is where I can be me and write down my thoughts. It does help to write things down sometimes...well time to work. Take care.